"This is big. This is very big. It's bigger than anything you've ever seen. I am making America great again. I am doing things you've never even dreamed of.
America is safe. It is safer than ever before. The travel ban for dangerous countries is back in place, but it's better this time, much better. And these countries are dangerous, more dangerous than you could ever believe. And now I am able to protect our people and put America first! I am cleaning up the streets. The overwhelming amount of violent crime in our major cities has been commited by blacks and hispanics, so we are deporting all of them. I just passed another historic bill. A great bill. I am sending them back to their homes.
America has won. I have built up our military and made sure we have the best soldiers. The United States government will not accept or allow transgender, gay, female or non-caucasian individuals to vote or serve in any capacity in the U.S. military. Our government and military must be focused on decisive and overwhelming victory and cannot be burdened with the tremendous disruption that these groups would entail. For example, there have been over 26,000 unreported sexual assults in the military. If I had been a solider in our old co-gender military, I would have probably been amongst those accused. What did those geniuses expect when they put men & women together? I have fixed this problem and made our military stronger.
America has prevailed. China has no chance. No chance. Their leaders are incompetent losers. Their race and their military are inferior. Noone has ever seen a military like ours. I have created a very powerful military. Kim Jong-un once insulted me by calling me 'old,' when I would never call him 'short and fat.' Now we are business partners, but he knows I am more powerful than he is. He knows that I am am very successful, more successful than he will ever be.
America is great. We will soon have nothing left here but patriots and soldiers. I have drained the swamp and removed all government officials from power. Anyone who doesn't believe in America will go to jail now. Nobody is allowed to burn the American flag - if they do, there must be consequences - they will spend at least one year in jail. I will decide how long they stay in there. Anyone who breaks our laws - laws that are American laws - will now be punished under my new bill. I will not tolerate fat, ugly people or people without properly functioning brains. I will deport or jail anyone who has a genetic problem of any kind. Anyone who fails to disagrees will be put in jail, deported or executed.
Sorry losers and haters, but my I.Q. is one of the highest - you all know it! Please don't feel so stupid or insecure, it's not your fault. I get more pussy than all of you combined. Haha! Remember when I used to be criminalized for saying things like that - just for innocent locker room talk? It was just a few years ago and now I can say anything. I can do anything.
America is great again, is it not?"