slow moves

Sometimes we forget that we control time. We can control it, because we created it. The clock's face is our face. The clock's arms are our arms. We can use them as an embrace or to wage war.  In a sense, we are time. Just like an artist can become his art.

We can't "lose time," but we can lose ourselves. There is no "race against time," we are racing against ourselves. Nothing is a "matter of time," it's a matter of you and I. You can't "buy time," but you can buy people.  Of all of the idioms about time, the one that can have the most harm, perhaps, is the phrase "time heals all wounds." Well, brothers and sisters, I'll tell you that it doesn't. We heal our own wounds.

When we are wounded, time can actually work against us. It can make us bleed out, deprive oxygen from our brains, let bacterias and cancers spread. Time can even work against the deepest of wounds, the ones that have nothing to do with flesh and bone. Time can create a bleak future of loneliness, failure, suffering and death. It can bring about the metals and materials, the bricks and bolts, the nick knacks and nails for jails and homes and coffins. But remember that we build all of these things ourselves, really. 

I look at my girls, and time changes shape. I change shape. Maybe it’s because there isn’t a clear beginning or end anymore. Did the clock start when I was born or when they were born? Does it stop when I die or when they die? Maybe it doesn’t matter. I look in the mirror with a clock behind me. I notice that the arms of the clock move into the future. If I am time, then I am the future. My girls are the future. We are the same.

I look at June. She moves so slowly. I put an object in front of her and she will study it for a moment. She’ll reach out, slowly, to touch it. Sometimes it takes ten seconds for her to move ten inches forward. She slows down time more than anyone I’ve ever met. She seems to understand that she can control it. She is not rushing through life, she's living it.

Just look into the mirror, take a deep breath, and slow down for a few seconds. Feel yourself take control. Or come on over and spend some “time” with June.

You’ll understand.