A dream catcher that hangs above the girl's changing table.
The things the girls are partial to now have more significance to me.
They have both studied a dream catcher that hangs above their changing table intently, from the beginning. They study lines and contrasting shadows. The soft edges of the feathers.
It's as if they know it was created to protect them and keep monsters and ghosts from their dreams. I hope they see me that way too. All of the lines and shadows of my face, there to protect them from the monsters and ghosts of the world.
I see the dream catcher as many things now. It's caught so many metaphors from my mind. It catches beautiful thoughts too now, not just nightmares - and it gives the good ones back when it's time.
One of its stories is of spider webs. I've started to study spider webs, admire them, and watch the light shine through them. I used to see them as a nuisance and tear them down, but now I see them as very important.
All too often we overlook the beauty in things that we may see as a nuisance. Perhaps some of the things we try to eliminate from our lives could teach us something about beauty and balance.
The spider webs are like my Juniper.
Each time I look at the dream catcher or see a spider build it's home, I am reminded of this.
A wind chime that hangs on the soffit above the back deck.
To me, the wind chime is a symbol that transcends physical senses. I can see its sound and hear it's movement. If I see a wind chime move, I know it is making sound, even without my ears. If I hear it, I know it is moving even without my eyes.
Movement is sound and sound is movement.
Regardless of the senses we develop, we can perceive the same things.
With the uncertainty Coley and I face in the future, this has become important for us to hold on to. We have been told that Juniper may never walk or talk. That can be difficult to accept. As parents, we are determined to push past it, beat the odds, and think that we will be the exception.
But we must also be prepared to change how we perceive the world, rather than to force Juniper into ours.
Throughout my life, I have found that the things that do not talk always speak the loudest. I have learned more from listening to things that don't have words. The wind, the sky, my hound dogs, my little girls.
Every time I walk out on the back porch and the wind picks up, my heart and lungs are filled with energy now. Because I know that we can always transcend our senses if we understand them in the right ways.
The girls focus on specific things for a reason. Something in those things is aligning with where they are developmentally, neurologically. These things are helping my girls carve out new pathways in their minds.
I always try to focus on the things that draw my girls attention, like the dream catcher and the wind chime - and I let them carve out new pathways for me too.
[for the next few posts, we will go back to our timeline, and continue to share our story.]